Our cup runneth over this week and these motions need no accompanying comment as the awfulness speaks for itself:
Title: 7 Up
S4M-01257 Elaine Smith (Scottish Labour): That the Parliament congratulates Albion Rovers on beating Lanarkshire rival Airdrie 7-2; notes that this was the third victory in a row for the Wee Rovers this season and that it was the first time that it has defeated Airdrie in 35 years; considers the crowd of 1,109 to be a fantastic attendance, and hopes that this result will act as a catalyst for future success this season.
Title: Scotland’s No’ Full Up Yet
S4M-001156.1 Mary Fee (Scottish Labour): As an amendment to motion S4M-01156 in the name of John Mason (Scotland’s No’ Full Up Yet) insert at end, “; believes that, while it considers the news of the population increase to be welcoming, the Scottish Government has not acted on what it sees as its failings since 2007; considers that these failures include not protecting the health budget, with a real-terms cut of £319 million and the loss of 4,000 NHS staff, including 1,700 nurses, not protecting local services that it believes to be essential for older, poorer and vulnerable people, not protecting funding for colleges, resulting in the loss of thousands of student applicants in the 2011-12 academic year, not creating opportunities for Scotland’s youth, with one in five young men unemployed; notes what it considers to be the Scottish Government’s broken promises, such as the building of 5,000 socially rented homes over the next five years and to reduce class sizes, and considers that, if Scotland’s population increases, this administration is unfit to face the challenges that increased population brings.
Short Title: Arbroath’s Award-winning Sweet Chilli and Irn-Bru Sausages
S4M-01269 Graeme Dey () (Scottish National Party): That the Parliament congratulates Arbroath butcher DH Robertson on the success of its sweet chilli and Irn-Bru pork sausages, which are now to be sold in 450 craft butchers across the country and which won first prize in the speciality sausage category at last year’s Scottish Craft Butchers Awards; notes that this year’s winner, Stuarts of Buckhaven, has recognised the demand for the unique Arbroath pork delicacy and provided the Angus recipe to the 450 Scottish butchers; recognises that this latest culinary export adds to what is considered a long list of fine food and drink from the county named the Birthplace of Scotland, which includes the Arbroath Smokie and the Forfar Bridie in addition to venison, game, Angus beef, soft fruit and seafood, and encourages people from all over Scotland and wider afield to try the tasty new Angus delicacy themselves at their local craft butchers shop.
#1 by Andrew McPake on November 12, 2011 - 12:52 pm
Mary Fee can lay claim to a poorer grasp of sentence construction than even the least able of my pupils.
#2 by Barbarian on November 12, 2011 - 3:14 pm
I think they have to use one sentence only. I think there should be a limit on the number of words!
I love this weekly topic. Perhaps we should visit the butcher in question, Mr DH Robertson, and warn him that we have three contenders for producing the best mince!
#3 by cynicalHighlander on November 13, 2011 - 4:11 pm
And I would steak that they all get the chop!
#4 by An Duine Gruamach on November 12, 2011 - 4:39 pm
Jeff, I hate you. I was just starting to get over that defeat. Seven goals shipped to the Brig Boys… it will hurt for years to come. Still, I’m glad that you chose to illustrate with an Airdrie goal 🙂
#5 by Jeff on November 13, 2011 - 5:35 pm
I figured every little helps. (Or, you know, I got the teams the wrong way around!)
Sounds like a tough one to get over though.
#6 by Scottish republic on November 13, 2011 - 10:39 am
1 Scottish Labour – stop congratulating football teams. It’s a generally ridiculous thing to do.
2 Scottish Labour – clearly she has little to do and time on her hands.
3 SNP – I think this merits comment as an advert for Scottish business but one would think it could be better mentioned in a different way.
#7 by Jeff on November 13, 2011 - 5:34 pm
Yes, the third one was borderline to be fair. Could’ve just went with the two.
And they do sound like ace sausages!
#8 by James on November 13, 2011 - 7:27 pm
I thought the third was much more egregious than the second. At least it’s a coherent complaint, rather than “I had a nice sickly sweet banger”.
#9 by Alec on November 13, 2011 - 10:49 am
==> believes that, while it considers the news of the population increase to be welcoming, the Scottish Government has not acted on what it sees as its failings since 2007; considers that these failures include not protecting the health budget, with a real-terms cut of £319 million and the loss of 4,000 NHS staff, including 1,700 nurses, not protecting local services that it believes to be essential for older, poorer and vulnerable people, not protecting funding for colleges, resulting in the loss of thousands of student applicants in the 2011-12 academic year, not creating opportunities for Scotland’s youth, with one in five young men unemployed; notes what it considers to be the Scottish Government’s broken promises, such as the building of 5,000 socially rented homes over the next five years and to reduce class sizes, and considers that, if Scotland’s population increases, this administration is unfit to face the challenges that increased population brings.
That’s a bloody long sentence.
~alec
#10 by Indy on November 14, 2011 - 11:40 am
Sweet chilli and Irn-Bru pork sausages?
Dear Lord.
#11 by An Duine Gruamach on November 14, 2011 - 12:50 pm
Hm… can you deep fry them?
#12 by Alec on November 14, 2011 - 12:50 pm
Yes, Indy. Irn Bru should only ever be added to fine malts, as any fuel nose.