I have some good news and I have some bad news.
The good news is that Elaine Smith MSP had a lovely night out at the theatre the other night. The bad news is that she felt the need to share that good news with us via the parliamentary motion process.
This is, hands down, the worst motion of the past week:
Motion S4M-00513 – Elaine Smith ( Coatbridge and Chryston ) ( Scottish Labour ): Dancing Shoes
That the Parliament congratulates the creators of the show, Dancing Shoes, based on the life of former Manchester United footballer, George Best; notes that the musical completed a sell-out month-long run at Belfast’s Grand Opera House in 2010 and is returning for a wider tour; recognises the songwriting talents of Coatbridge’s JJ (Jinky) Gilmour and Belfast’s Pat Gribben, as well as the contribution of playwrights Marie Jones and Martin Lynch; notes that the play is due to be performed at the Pavilion Theatre in Glasgow from 13 to 17 September 2011; recognises that, despite his worldwide success with the Silencers and a successful solo career, Jinky Gilmour still performs at local gigs, including the 2011 Coatbridge St Patrick’s Day festival; considers Dancing Shoes to be a contemporary and exciting musical, and wishes everyone involved all the best for the production.
Where do we go from here? MSPs telling us there was a great show on the TV? That Jedward should win Big Brother? Pointing out somewhere that does a cracking fish supper? There is surely no greater indication that politicians may be running out of things to talk about than bringing pretty mundane pub chat into Holyrood.
It’s not all bad news this week though. We have an exemplary example of what a motion should look like and kicks off our Holyrood Hero of the week series (which will hitherto be typically non-motion based):
S4M-00775 Margaret Mitchell () (Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party):
That the Parliament notes with concern the development of waste services in North Lanarkshire; understands that North Lanarkshire is already home to Europe’s largest capacity landfill site as well as four other smaller landfill sites and will be the site of the Drumshangie incinerator which it believes will burn 300,000 tonnes of waste per year; further understands that the approved Drumshangie project is four times the size of the proposed Carnbroe plant and that, if the latter was approved, the two incinerators would have the capacity to burn 450,000 tonnes of waste per year; considers that there are inconsistencies in the criteria for the refusal of the Carnbroe plant and the approval of the Drumshangie incinerator; further considers that a review of the policy regarding waste disposal and incinerators would be welcome with a view to encouraging reuse and recycling as a priority over the construction of incinerators, and welcomes the efforts of local community and organisations such as the North Airdrie Joint Community Group and Greengairs Community Council in supporting recycling and reuse programmes.
Some important concerns are raised here with facts to back them up. This is the type of issue that I’d want MSPs to be looking at in the Chamber, not what happens to be on at the Pavilion Theatre this month…
#1 by setindarkness on September 9, 2011 - 12:16 pm
I quite fancy seeing that show. What an excellent service the Scottish Parliament provides. I also know which clairvoyant is the best, thanks to Iain Gray.
Seriously, you should just do Hero of the Week – Margaret Mitchell’s motion is really good.
#2 by Jeff on September 9, 2011 - 12:24 pm
That’s good I hope you enjoy it. Maybe the Parliament could do a Radio Times motion where they tell us the best things on the box this week? I hear Boardwalk Empire is quite good.
No, Worst Motion of the Week is here to stay….
#3 by Aidan on September 9, 2011 - 12:27 pm
Boardwalk Empire is *excellent*
#4 by Lindsay on September 9, 2011 - 12:40 pm
anyone remember this motion, passed by Parliament June 2009 made just that little bit better by a Robin Harper amendment…
Motion S3M-04348 That the Parliament notes Scotland’s achievement of its share of the 2010 landfill diversion target 18 months early; encourages the Scottish Government to continue working with stakeholders to further improve recycling rates, increase reuse and do more on waste prevention; recognises however that the provisions of the EU-revised Waste Framework Directive (2008/98/EC) are required to be transposed into Scots law by 12 December 2010; notes the forthcoming consultation on the new National Waste Management Plan; believes that the new plan must fully address the waste hierarchy of prevention, reuse, recycling, recovery and disposal, as described in the National Waste Plan 2003 and the revised EU framework directive; notes that, in order to meet medium and long-term targets, the issue of developing further waste infrastructure must be tackled, as a priority, to better address the management, reduction, recycling and disposal of commercial and industrial waste in Scotland, and believes that, given the good progress being made so far, there should be no necessity for any large-scale waste-to-energy plants to be built in Scotland and that reuse, reducing waste creation and recycling are the best way forward.
repeat – no necessity for any large-scale waste-to-energy plans to be built in Scotland
#5 by Shave on September 9, 2011 - 12:46 pm
Did The Pavilion get her to do a bit of leafleting outside the chamber as well?
#6 by Gina on September 9, 2011 - 1:32 pm
It’s a tweet expanded into the format of a Parliamentary motion. There ought to be a name for this. In Westminster speak it’s an EDM as I recall 🙂
#7 by Doug Daniel on September 9, 2011 - 2:36 pm
EDM = Extremely Dumbstriking Motion?
#8 by Doug Daniel on September 9, 2011 - 4:11 pm
Dimwitted. I knew there was a better word beginning with D.
#9 by Doug Daniel on September 9, 2011 - 2:47 pm
If Private Eye did a pretend Holyrood Motion column, that first motion is pretty much exactly what they would write. Seriously, is she taking the piss?
Some of your Worst Motions have been slightly harsh, and there have been some that have been pure petty politics, but at least they’ve had something to do with parliament. This one is just ridicuous. I expect you’ll find it tough to beat when you’re doing an end-of-term Worst Motion of the Year. I certainly hope so, because I wouldn’t want to see any motion that beats it.
I can feel genuine anger bubbling up when I re-read it. I want blood. Can we not have MSPs censured in some way for misuse of the parliamentary process? Otherwise, I see no reason why people shouldn’t start descending into stuff like “That the parliament notes that X is a massive perv and probably hangs around playgrounds in a dirty rainjacket” or “that the parlimanet notes that I am the coolest dude in the world and the rest of you are all losers who aren’t worthy of cleaning my boots”. Or perhaps even “that the parliament notes that if your name isn’t signed onto this motion, you smell of pooh. LOLZ.” They would only be slightly more pathetic than this example, and certainly the natural progression.
#10 by Barbarian on September 9, 2011 - 7:05 pm
I think this is excellent, as it shows the best and the worst.
Keep it going, then it can be presented to representatives of all parties. (I have a rather good contact within Holyroon).
#11 by Dr William Reynolds on September 9, 2011 - 7:21 pm
Okay,I agree.I don’t see the point of the first motion and dthe second one is relevant.Can anyone explain the logic and purpose of politiians presenting motions about things that seem to be irrelevant to the interests of the constituents that they were elected to represent.Do Westminster MP’s do this as well.Are MSP’s mimicking the Westminster system.What is the history of this practice? I still remain convinced that it would be better to focus on motions that are good examples of the public interest.
#12 by douglas clark on September 9, 2011 - 11:47 pm
Please stop putting clowns on here. I am really really freaked out by clowns. And, probably, Elaine Smith also.
#13 by Scottish republic on September 10, 2011 - 12:33 am
Boardwalk Empire is *excellent*
What’s it about?
#14 by douglas clark on September 10, 2011 - 5:48 am
Couldn’t we all join in?
“That Hollyrood welcomes the initiative, by a Scottish nutter, to revitalise US tourism to Scotland with the startlingly witty logo:
“You’ll have had your Magrahi the noo?”
It is also the particularily innovative to use the ‘Bird man of Alcatraz’ morif for the visits to Greenock Jail. The interactive tour called ‘flown the coup’ would usually be seen as a joke too far, but the new BAA ‘Greenock International’ airport, along with the rebranding of Greenock Prison as ‘Guantanamo East and North a bit’ has, perhaps,(no, no perhaps about it, definitely) belied that notion.
It has been, perhaps, Visit Scotland’s greatest moment.
This Parliament welcomes the astonishing growth of the whole of Inverclyde on the back of fast food outlets and XXXL clothing retailers, and the innovative expansion of indigenous retail outlets such as KFC and Wimpey’s. It makes this MSP proud to see traditional industries thrive.
It has been a tad tacky to watch Dunoon go for the historical re-enactment market with a frankly unrealistic model of a Polaris submarine in the Holy Loch.
Whilst this avante guarde approach to expanding the tourist market is an undoubted good, and Inverclyde is blessed with genious innovators, this Parliament should also be invited to castigate the evil folk of Argyll, living as they do on the Island of Dunoon, for trying to muscle in and steal our wealth.
The absolute wee bissoms.
We should also mention that Morton have a reserve game on Tuesday afternoon to which all are welcome. Unless, of course, you are from Argyll.”
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Do you think Holyrood beckons your humble scribe.? Probably for the re-introduction of capital punishment.